school was boring!

Hijab

Aku nk berhijab tapi takut.There's a few question im asking myself.am i ready to wear a hijab?to present islam in public?etc..aku buat bnyk dose yang tak terkire banyaknya.I don't know how long I have to wait till im ready.I'm a teenager.I wanna have fun with my friends and especially my boyfriend.I hate to look at girls wearing hijab hugging and kissing their boyfriend in public.I don't wanna be like them!But in second thought,hey wearing hijab is to tutup aurat kan?ape kne mengene dengan perangai?ntah la.im confuse.I dont know whats wrong n right.aku nk jd penghuni syurga.tapi macam tak layak.i'm tired of all these people judging me.Stop judging me!u're not perfect yourself!yes.i know.im a criminal.Because disobeying your creator is a crime.I know but i cant stop doing it.why?an u answer my question?

gloom

the ups and downs in life.One day im sad and the next day im happy again.erggh.

Retreat

This is a story about a guy named A**ah.A person who is caring,kind and generous.He doesn't deserve to be treated this way.From his mother's eyes he's crazy.He has friends who betrayed him.This world is too cruel for him.He's too kind to face it.He is the weirdest guy i've ever known.But still,I love him as my brother and bestfriend.How I wish he is my own brother who share same blood.But he is not.No one appriciate him.WHY?This is life.People are mean.They love to see other's suffer.His life is indefinate.Yes,we have to face the ups and downs in life.But can you face both in one day?No.But he can.He is a damn strong man.He can do things you can't even imagine.I only knew him for few weeks but he treated me like no brother can.Last sunday he left us.I can't even say goodbye and thank him for everything.One handshake and he's gone.I wanted to say thanks but i can't speak out those words.I felt like trapped in a glass well and there's no air to breath.It's just me sucking oxygen from a place there is none.But he came back.I was so stressed out.I cried at school.I'm an egoist person,i don't cry in public but because of I can't accept losing a friend like you,I did.Then a girl told me you are still here.I was so happy.Please.I'm begging you to stay.Stay as long as you can.I know you can't because it's not your choice.It's fate.But you changed it once.I know you can do it for the second time.Please.I don't wanna lose you again.Adam and abg Am also can't bear to lose you.You guy's do evrything together.How can u leave them?Please don't.

-hanie-

LOVE

I know him through his sister.1st. time we met is when i fall for him.It's kinda weird actually because he is my friend's brother.how awkward is that?haha.After a few days he ask me to be his girl.It was at a parking lot in mid valley after a movie(angels&demon).There is no flowers,chocolate or any sweet talk.He press his face to the car seat and ask(jom couple nak?)then i said NAK!Then he said NAK?ok..hahaha.It was simple but nice.i like it.He came live in my life and pay no rent.LOL.I hope our love will never fade,never will be like you and arina.I don't want you temporaryly.I want you till the last breath I breath.till doom's day tear us apart.The cutest word u ever say is peace peeace!hahahaha.I love you because you came to love not by finding a perfect person but by seeing imperfect person perfectly.

3rd May 2009-adam syazwan bin azman


-hanie-

ABANG

When we first met.it was at klcc.im in form 3 and you were in form 5.do u still remember?You said to me adeq ko ketot.i said abg ko hitam.and then we get closer and closer.mase tu aku ngah sedih pasal izrai.u were kind n my only crying shoulder.i spend more time with you than my friends and even my own family.I love u so much.I love you more than anyone else.aku da anggap ko abg btol aku.ta pnh aku ckp kt org ko abg angkat.sume pk ko abg aku.bongok!haha.you taught me what life is.it's not easy to live your own life.pastu ko bwk faiz masok dlm hidop aku.i have two faiz in my life and im in love with both of you.My abg and my boyfie.I even love you more than my bf.then ko cpl ngan minah kecik comey tu.tp kite still pentingkn setan sibling kite.u,me,ejard and nysa.after 5 months, i broke up with faiz.ko pon da cpl ngan darling.aku ske die.die best.kite leh kuar same2.I have family prob.I cried every single day without your shoulder to cry on.I wanted to call you tp kakak aku rampas phone.Aku takleh nak wat pape.Aku nak keluar rumah pon tak boleh.Satu hari kakak aku bagi aku kuar kt bwh.swim.aku happy gile.nak call ko tp num lak aku da lpe.adoi.life in my sister's house is like in a prison.aku takleh on9.no phne call.no friends.absalutely nothing.I miss you.I miss faiz.I miss selayang's guy.Bile aku da boleh kuar.jmpe ko.ko ngah sedih darling ta lyn ko sbln.aku pon sedih sbb aku takleh nak wat pape.Ko ade ckp ni kt nysa."adeq ko check kakak ko ni ade virgin ke tak,takleh caye die ni".Ya Allah mse tu my heart drop.Aku sedih gile.aku da nk nanges but i dont wanna add more burden to u.sbb ko pon ngah down mse tu.I wonder why u asked that question to nysa.it came out from a guy i love as my own brother.Mse tu aku da lain skit.dulu ko cakap aku kikis duit laki.sume laki aku cpl.aku kikis.KO NI KENAL AKU KE TAK???????aku pon taktau da ko knl aku ke tak.aku ta pcaye sgt.smpai la ko tnye aku kt starbucks.mse tu aku cpl ngan zul.ko tnye.tiah ko nk die ke duit die?fuhhhhhh.tak tahan weyh.ni yg aku simpan selame ni la.you said u love me but i love you harder.and this what we get after for years we've known each other.and skarang.aku baru kutuk gf ko tu pon dpn2.bknnye aku kutuk ngan kwn2 aku ke sape.and about burit bau rokok n stuff.i was just joking but u take it seriously.nothing i can do.take care.i hope u will be with her forever and stay la ngan nysa.jgn sbb aku ko nk jaoh2 ngan nysa gak.kesian die.i love you ABANG!daa

This song reminds me of you

Love For You is?

can you describe love in one word?If you can what would it be?

Najwa said love is icecream.
Aisyah said love is undefined
Pavi said love is 143
Ros said love suck!
Zahar said love is Mia
Mia said love is complicated
Eyka said love is sexy
Tia said love is romantic
Apis said love is sex
Yana said love is amazing
Anis said love eternity
Lili said love is boring
Nazrin said love is unconditional
Minesh said love is complicated
Cikgu khatijah said love is Ganesh
Azura said love is loving
Dini said love is life
Sadia said love is blind
Ayuni said love is beautiful
Haris said love twist
Syed Syafiq said love is unpredictable
Seth said love is you
Mama said love is splendid

and for me.LOVE is suicidal.You dont know whats next in your relationship.Today u're in love.Tomorrow u'll make love.The day after tmorrow u'll get pregnant.And there they are.BABY IS SAVED BY A SCAVENGER.


-Hanie-

It's all about me!

I’m a girl with a dream. With an ambition. A girl who trusted to be a successful young lady when she grown up. Her parent was a teacher. Her 1st sister is an architect. Her 2nd brother is a professional photographer. Her 3rd sister is a successful business woman. Her 4th brother is a businessman. Her 5th brother is a teacher. Her 6th sister is goin to be bloody rich at the age of 25.And this is her.The 7th kid in the family. which known as a spoilt bitch, far from a good daughter, a trouble lil sister, a silly student, an untrusted friend,a terrible ex girlfriend and the worst girlfriend in the history .In her life she knows that she have a parents that love her,siblings taking care of her,friends that got her back when shes in trouble,a boyfriend that love her and is the love of her life.Well,is this true?ergh!she felt abnoxious.LOL.Okay.here’s the fact.A real truth.She have a Okay Parents, they’re great sometimes.And how can she start with her siblings?Her 1st sister thinks that she’s freaking stupid.Her 2nd brother said thet she have potential in photography.Her third sister love her and lied about everything most of the time.Her 4th brother,she kept in mind that he doesn’t exist.Her 5th brother libel about she drinks do drugs and stuff but he’s nice most of the time.Her 6th sister is the most awsome sister in the world!And next is friend.She believe that she have the greatest friends in the world that no one has.But the actual fact is,it’s the opposite.Her friends that she trust betrayed her.Her friends that she love backstabed her.When she’s younger than 16,she was damn close with this one girl that she called bestfriend.But then,2009.That girl was sick and gone through a surgery operation. That girl apologize to maybe all her friends beside her and no one tell her that her friend is sick.How do you think she feel?She thought she is her fucking bestfriend!DURH!!!!What if she died?Will anyone tell her that?ermm....NO!!!!she have a lil sister but different parents.LOL.She’s a nice,adorable,pretty,annoying and the bomb!haha.She knows how to cheer her up,make her laugh and drag her down.haha.naah...just kidding.And next is BOYFRIEND.She want someone who is different and accept her the way she is.It’s hard.It’s really hard.

-hanie-

DREAM

This is inside of me thrown out.Please don’t punish!I’ve been thrust by love.I keep inside my mouth closed and swallow.Please don’t kiss me like you love me now.Please don’t touch me like you pleased me now.Please don’t leave me in the moment of killing.Please don’t kill me in the silent of trauma.I am a hole into which evil comes.Into which devil was born.I can kill myself for loving you.I can kill myself for accepted your love.Just kiss me nicely on the lips and I will spare you the trouble.Just go away and i promise,i promise i will be good.As good as an angel.I am not sleeping.I’m dreaming with my eyes wide opened.Open mouth that sounds like thunder,trying to inhale fresh air in a dusty place is what happend when im awake from this nightmare of life.
I thought it was a dream.A dream I will never have a chance to get up from my sleep.A dream when I am not asleep.


-HANIE-